My Snow Day

January 17, 2018

     Let’s take this back to yesterday before the snow hit the ground.  People were freaking out and calling the radio station asking why Greenville County hadn’t made a decision on closing the schools yet. It was only noon but in retrospect, I had co-workers saying, “ahh nothing's going to happen”. As for myself, I was in my office all day and wasn’t thinking one bit about the snow that was or was not coming.  I was busy catching up from when I was out of the station on Monday for MLK Day.  Notice how I put “out of the station” instead of “off of work”…because no, this whole weekend was me straight up grindin'!

     On Saturday night I had the absolute honor of playing with the Harlem Globetrotters at the Bon Secours Wellness Arena.  I was suited up, ran my own “Special J” play on the court, and I even scored a basket the first time my hands touched the ball!  It was beyond amazing and I twerked my way down that court and smiled the whole entire time.  It will definitely go down as one of my best memories and the crew both backstage and on the court contributed a lot to making it such a joyous experience.  They were such amazing people that we even got together after the game to dance the night away!

     Dancing and partying all night left me feeling terrible all day Sunday.  You know how that goes, stay up all night, mixing drinks, mingling and then bam, you’re dead all the next day.  My sister and Mama thought it was a little stomachache they had been experiencing and kept saying it would pass soon but no, I knew it was a Harlem Hangover for sure.  I needed that thing to pass though because that evening I got an email asking if I would fill in as a co-host on the local entertainment show, Scene.

     I am an all the way Yes, Man so even if I did have to go into work at the radio station on MLK Day, I was going to make a way to co-host on Scene.  Fortunately, we have that as a holiday and also fortunately, I was right about the hangover and didn’t have a stomachache as my family thought.  So,  I got ready ,went to downtown Greenville and tried my best to be entertaining while talking about virtual reality gyms, Mark Wahlberg donating money to the #MeToo defense fund (when really that money should have went to Michelle Williams herself) but then we ended the show on a positive note by talking about me being a Harlem Globetrotter for a night.  I did well but my day of work was not over.

     I know for a fact that God has put me on this earth to entertain people.  He instilled that passion in me when I was a child so any opportunity where I’m asked to perform, I say, “Yes, Man!”  My latest adventure was starting right after Scene where I’d be going on a first date but I had to Facebook Live it for the world to watch.  The point is to show why the place is a great date spot and what you can learn about your date while there.  This is a series and this first date sent me rock climbing with a complete stranger.  Despite that stranger asking me not to film his face during the date, funny enough,he kept voluntarily putting himself in front of the camera!

      The Facebook Live was very entertaining but also as part of the assignment, I had to film a wrap up video giving the scoop on the guy.  I was very nervous about doing this part because it was different than me giving him a nickname on the Hawk and Tom Show and telling the story.  The world saw his face, he put it out there himself and what I had to say about him being compatible with me wasn’t very flattering.  I kept putting it on the backburner and doing my other work for the station because there definitely was a lot to be done, especially if the snow was in fact coming. 

     After completing my radio tasks, I was still taking my time on filming the confessional video.  I laid down in the floor to meditate for a moment and eventually I got up, chugged a coke and ate a Snicker’s bar because you know, you’re not you when you’re hungry..or tired..or have tremendous anxiety.  After all of that, I finally started working on the wrap up video about the date.  Surprisingly, once I started, I felt fine about giving all the facts on the guy because while he might not have been a good fit for me, it was my job to tell people why.  But then I started having a problem too when editing the piece together.  See, I am a person who strives for perfection and I kept stumbling on making it “perfect”.  What even is perfect anyways?  This is something new, that I’ve NEVER done before so there is no perfect but in the moment, I just couldn't grasp that thought.   What I now know is it was pure nerves.  I was anxious to put this work out so that’s why I kept it on the backburner and beat myself up so much while working on it.

     With a lot of convincing, I finally uploaded the video onto the internet and didn’t get home from the radio station until 10:30 last night.  The snow wasn’t falling yet and I went straight into my house to bed.  I didn’t even wash my face or brush my teeth.  I was that exhausted, I just crashed.  With my eyes closed, I could feel my brain still spinning or at least trying to spin but it was completely fried. I couldn’t stop thinking about the wrap up video so I grabbed my cell and went to watch it again on it’s published platforms.  It wasn’t bad, at all...AT ALL!  I could have hit myself in the face right then!  Why did I kill myself mentally over this?!

    This brings us to my snow day.  My boss told me to come in later in the afternoon if I had any work to do but I knew the only thing I wanted to do was write this blog.  Everyone has anxiety issues and mine got the best of me yesterday.  I was doing something new and I was so fearful of the outcome.   The irony of all this is in my first blog I ever wrote, I used an Eleanor Roosevelt quote, “Do one thing every day that scares you.”  Yesterday, I was terrified and today, as I sit here writing this blog in my pajamas looking at the snow, I am at peace.  God brought the snow for a reason… so I could rest my brain, reflect, recuperate and not have to worry about getting up early to go grind.  I spent all weekend "grinding".  I do that with every project that comes my way but that's what I need to remember, I am giving it 100% and if someone doesn't like it, well I gave it my all.  I'm saying this for you and myself, stop putting so much dang pressure on yourself!! There's no reason to be anxious about what others will think of your work, especially if you did your absolute best.  I needed this snowfall and as my life moves forward, I will try to remember this sense of stillness just as vivid as my moment on the court with the Globetrotters.  Remember to Give it all ya got, Never Give Up, and Keep Grindin'