Things That Make You Go Mmmm!
1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water?¬†¬† Try spelling Evian backwards:¬† NAIVE¬†
2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?¬†¬†¬†
3.¬† OK ..... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the¬† Tampa¬†Bay¬†Buccaneers are known¬†as the 'Bucs, what does that make the¬†Tennessee¬† Titans?¬†
4.¬† If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it?¬†
5.¬† There are three religious truths:
¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store.¬†
6.¬†¬†If people from¬†Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?¬†
7.¬† If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?¬†
8.¬†¬†Why do croutons come in airtight packages? ¬†Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?¬†
9¬† Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?¬†
10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?¬†
11.¬† If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it¬† follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,¬† models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?¬†
12.¬†If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?¬†
13.¬†Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?¬†¬†¬†
14.¬†What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of¬† bald men?¬†
15.¬†I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final exam.
16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use?¬† Toothpicks?¬†
17.¬†Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? ¬†What are we supposed to do, write to them?¬† Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?¬†
18.¬†If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?¬†
19.¬†You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.¬†
21.¬†Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?¬†
22.¬†If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?¬†
23.¬†Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?¬†
24. At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells¬†¬† ... 'THEIRS'?
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