Tom




Kids

Kids.

 
Kids are cool.  If you don't have any, you should go get some. Buy them.  Steal them.  Just get some.  They are awesome tax deductions.
 
We have two. A boy and a girl.  6 and 4. We'll have more once we win the lottery.  Becoming a father is the coolest thing I have ever done.  Kids enhance anything you could ever experience.  
 
Impromptu dance parties.  
 
You wear Mickey Mouse ears with your name on the back for 5 days in a row. They ruin your clothes and they insist that you kiss them when they are covered in food or worse. You do it, because that's what you do. 
 
Nobody goes to bed till the special blanket comes out of the dryer. There is no way around this-so remember to push the start button on the dryer or be prepared to stay up for another 45 minutes. 
 
They eat the same 3 meals and still continue to grow.  
 
If you have a pet, you are not a parent.  To try to compare is idiotic.  If you disagree, then explain to me who watches the dog when you are at work. I thought so.  Kids make great excuses for when you don't want to hang out with certain people.  They get sick when you want to hang out with others.  
  
Kids are brutally honest, yet often lie when they fear the consequences. They are amazed to find out that you already knew a song or a joke that they just learned. They are disappointed to hear that you didn't have an iPad when you were 6.  
 
They fart.  Only in public places and they share this event with everyone in the room.  They wear stickers like badges of honor and don't understand why they don't survive the wash.
 
Cardboard boxes are cars, boats, space shuttles and all modes of transportation in between.  All you need is a marker.  Wardrobe changes are more frequent than an awards show and are more creative than Lady Gaga could ever imagine. 
 
Tears of sadness and laughter can occur at the same exact moment. 
 
They screw up the words to songs, but their version makes those songs better. They enjoy the stuff you enjoy because they see how much you love those things. You'll spend more time untangling their fishing line than you will baiting their hook.  Good luck ever casting your own line. 
 
Be honestly interested in what they love.  Encourage them in their interests and never make them feel embarrassed by their passions.   No matter how silly they might be.  Kids will give you more than you will ever be able to provide for them.  
 
Learning to whistle is like winning the Super Bowl. 
 
Children bring a lot into perspective.  They keep you from taking yourself too seriously. They make you believe in yourself.  They prevent you from settling or failure.  More motivating than any pep talk or self help book.  
 
You can accomplish many things in life.  You can win all kinds of trophies that collect dust on  the mantle.  You can crush goals, raise the bar and make millions. It doesn't mean anything and is fruitless if you screw your kids up in the process
 
And remember...."Poop" is the funniest word in the world.  



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10/14/2013 9:23AM
Kids
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