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CHURCH BULLETINS

Love those Church Ladies and those wonderful Church Bulletins!   These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: ------------------------- The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.' -------------------------- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. -------------------------- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you. -------------------------- Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. -------------------------- Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. -------------------------- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.  And then the Music will follow. -------------------------- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice  -------------------------- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. -------------------------- Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. -------------------------- The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. And They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. -------------------------- This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. -------------------------- Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done. -------------------------- Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. ------------------------- The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. -------------------------- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. -------------------------- The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours'. --------------------------

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